This Lifestyle Is Only Part of Who I am
Welcome to the #stylemecommunity Tonya. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Name: Tonya | Utah | Connect: Instagram | Facebook | Website
I remember being really little and shooting first a BB gun then a 22LR with my dad. I loved seeing the soda cans jump when I made a hit and my dad saying I was a good shot. When I was 16, I fired my first semi-automatic pistol. It was a 9mm Beretta and belonged to my boyfriend. We went to a range, and he taught me what he knew. I loved it! Shooting was always something I did with the guys and was comfortable at the range. Even though I had my concealed carry permit, it never really occurred to me to carry my own because all the men in my life had one.
Then I got divorced.
I didn’t feel safe anymore. Years later a counselor told me it was okay to give myself permission to admit I had been in a domestic violence relationship. I still have a hard time with that idea, but I know that when I left I was terrified. How had I, someone who worked in the field of helping families impacted by violence, been sucked into and caught in the cycle? But it happened.
I found myself as a single mom of 3 super awesome little boys, living in a cozy home in the center of town. Life had shifted and there was an air of freedom for us. At the same time, I felt the weight of being the only adult in my home and protector of my kids. It was then that I started carrying. Working in the field of advocacy for 15 years showed me the darker side of my small rural town, and I was very aware of law enforcement response times. I just wasn’t willing to wait for help.
Taking advice from all my guy friends because I didn’t have any girlfriends who carried, I bought guns that were too big or too small. Plus, I received so many “this is how you do it right” lessons which completely contradicted each other that I became confused and overwhelmed. I gave up for a while and then reached out to some friends who were shooting instructors and asked them to start from scratch with me.
My skills improved, but I still purse carried even though I didn’t like it. I felt like it was just out there waiting to be taken, and I’d end up arming my attacker. I wanted to carry on my body but didn’t want to dress like a guy. When I found Style Me Tactical, I immediately fell in love with the content, ideas, and feeling that I could dress the way I wanted and carry. After 19 year years of having a permit, I finally started carrying the way that feels right to me and dressing the way I loved.
Since I’ve been carrying this way, my confidence has shifted. I feel more comfortable with my responsibilities and have taken my personal power back. I’ve even ramped up my life coaching practice and started talking with a few clients about personal protection, situational awareness, and self-reliance. When the topic comes up, I see women light up at just the idea. There is a sparkle in their eye and they get really creative about the places they’d go and things they would do if they felt more confident in their ability to protect themselves. It’s a seed, and a powerful one.
Even though I carry and share it, this lifestyle is only part of who I am. It’s part of building self confidence in myself and others. But again, it’s only one part. There are so many other tools that help us grow and become the women we’re meant to be. One of my favorites is positive affirmations. This summer, I combined positive affirmations with my favorite beverage - coffee - and started another business. Positive Vibe Coffee Co has a huge piece of my heart. I gave each coffee a name so that when you open the cupboard, the first thing you see are affirmations like, “I Am Empowered; I Am Strong; I Am Worthy; I Am Independent.” I know that seeing those statements daily will have a huge impact over time. To me, it’s the perfect combination.
I believe to the core that every woman has within her a strength that runs deep. Sometimes life has a way of hiding her strength, but it’s still there - patiently waiting. Once she finds it, she’s unstoppable.